A Pirate’s Dream

A Pirate’s Dream

The inauguration is today! Yipee! We’ve voted the maniac crook lying misogynist narcissist out of the White House. He wanted a military-style sendoff? Shoot him from a cannon, say I. To be completely transparent, at this moment, as I sit here at my desk writing, the...
That Pesky Phone

That Pesky Phone

My phone keeps pestering me to update to Apple Pay. I’m sure it would be convenient to just hold my phone over the grocery store contactless reader and have the cost of my marinated mozzarella, crackers, and bag of apples magically be deducted from my bank account....
Evicted

Evicted

On Saturday, I evicted someone from their home. Or I think I did. It’s a little hard to tell when home is a blanket, a single shoe, a filthy t-shirt, five large Budweiser cans, a yellow disposable razor, two Kit Kat wrappers, and a used syringe. All of it under a...
The Saga of the Dying Orange Tree

The Saga of the Dying Orange Tree

The day started out proactively—and very much not in the spirit of improv theater, an art form I have chosen to dedicate a good portion of my life to. See, Dixie and I, aka The Fun Institute, had to plan out next year’s schedule. Much as it goes against our nature to...